Sometimes, of course, it’s not getting people to open up, it’s getting them to shut up. Just ask Margaret, a 24-year-old bachelor girl from Washington, D.C.

Professor Know-It-All
"I caught the eye of a tall, good-looking guy at a bar one night. We started chatting but the music was so loud I couldn’t hear a word he said. He seemed nice, though, so I gave him my number, and he called the next day and asked me out. We went to dinner but by the time the check came, I knew he was not for me. Turtleneck, blazer, laughing at inappropriate times, his legs crossed—it was like being on a date with my math professor. Plus he kept talking about how much dinner cost and how much his law school payments were. I told him I needed to join some friends in a nearby bar in an effort to bail, but he invited himself along. When we got there, the guy literally took over every conversation no matter what the subject. Plus he kept making fun of each of my friends, where they went to school, their jobs, everything. By the end, I could tell they all wanted his head on a plate."

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Boorishness is just one type of social sin—there are countless more. There’s Ms. Sentence Finisher, who never lets you complete a thought—or a story—on your own. Or Mr. One-Upmanship, who trumps your every tale with his own bigger, better accomplishment. There’s the smart-ass who cracks wise with every remark, and the name-dropper who sprinkles her stories with first-name references to D-list celebrities. There’s Mumbles and the Long-Winded Wonder and Miss Mouthful, a lovely young woman who wouldn’t dream of swallowing . . . before she starts talking.