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| Version | User | Scope of changes |
|---|---|---|
| Jun 14 2006, 6:56 PM EDT (current) | singleton | |
| Jun 14 2006, 6:48 PM EDT | singleton | 2 words added, 1 word deleted |
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Hired Guns
According to some folks, the world’s first matchmaker was God, who hooked Adam up with this new girl in town named Eve. His fee at the time: one rib. These days, depending on where you go, it can cost a bit more. According to a February 2005 article in the New York Times Magazine, one Manhattan matchmaker’s price begins at $20,000. If a match is made—i.e., you get married—then you’re generally expected to shell out a marriage bonus, as well. Cars, jewelry, or a big sack of cash seem to be the general idea. Which, by comparison, makes that rib seem like a bit of a bargain.
Of course, not all matchmakers charge a rib, an arm, and a leg. Seattle’s Matchmaker in the Market, Noel McLane, charges $2,000 a pop. And while she might not take you out to swanky parties or refer you to a plastic surgeon the way the higher-end practitioners do, she will give you a full dose of that old-fashioned matchmaker magic.
- Are matchmakers worth the price? Dish and discuss.
- Using one of the matchmaking services listed here? Recommend it or add a review.
What exactly does that mean? According to McLane, it means becoming your client’s number-one advocate. “I learn as much about my clients as I can,” she says. “Then I do careful matching based on very personal knowledge.”
While amateur matchmakers like your cousin or your co-worker throw the most unlikely people together willy-nilly, a professional matchmaker earns their keep by conducting a careful search based upon their client’s specific criteria, usually gleaned through extensive interviews and questionnaires. If you hate redheads or tax accountants or people who hum, they’ll keep that in mind as they go through their databases, spreadsheets, and little black books. And they might just tell you to go jump in the lake for being unrealistically picky. Each matchmaker has their own style and specialty.
McLane’s specialty is the personal touch. Other outfits specialize in religious affiliations (or lack thereof). Professional or political interests. Lunch or dinner matches. Matches based on age, ethnic background, or your mail-order bride needs. You’ll even find outfits that cater to those ISO money, power, and prestige.
At 4M Multimillionaire Matchmaking Club, owner Christine Stelmack’s clients are “men who’ve made their millions, but not yet met their match.” Services are geared toward the “affluent, attractive, highly successful, single professional male between the ages of 25 and 55 who sincerely wishes to meet a deserving woman.”
Who are these deserving women? According to Stelmack, they’re “single, beautiful, accomplished women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s who can appreciate a man for his character and accomplishments and not just his financial statement.” Generally, she charges men $10,000 to $30,000 for her services. Women pay around $250.
So is 4M basically Trophy Wives R Us? Contrary to appearances (the site runs a continuous loop of toothsome young women in a variety of bewitching poses), Stelmack says no.
“These are career women who have a life of their own but are looking for a good man,” she says. “I can’t wave a magic wand and say 4M women are gold digger–proof, but I feel really good about my screening techniques.”
That all-important screening is a huge reason why many people are tapping matchmakers to handle their soul mate search (that and the fact that we’ve always liked the idea of somebody doing our dirty work). While online dating is cheaper, it’s also much more of a crapshoot—many people feel everyone there either lies like a rug or wears one.
Certainly, there are vastly different agendas. Some folks are looking for a serious commitment (the primary reason people go to matchmakers), but others are just looking for meaningless fun. Professional matchmakers do the screening for you, so you don’t have to wonder if the man or woman you’re meeting for drinks is just after your Monet.
Of course, the $64,000 question is—does it work?
Naturally! say the services. It’s Just Lunch, a matchmaking outfit that arranges no-pressure lunch or after-work drink dates, claims their success rate is very high. “Many of our first dates result in second dates,” touts their Web copy. “Every week we’re informed of engagements and marriages!”
The bottom line? Just like pierced tongues or thigh-high boots, matchmakers will work for some people and not for others. If you’re on a budget, they may be cost prohibitive. If you’re too picky (“No, that’s not the type of nose I want to date!”), they may not come up with the results you want. And if you’re a hideous troll who won’t settle for anything less than your very own Britney or Brad, then you’re probably SOL (they’re matchmakers, not miracle workers). If, however, you’re serious, you’re sincere, and you’re willing to surrender both control and tons of personal information (and you’re aware that just because you give somebody a big sack of money to find you a perfect match doesn’t mean they can find you a perfect person), then a matchmaker might just be the way for you to find your future mate.
See also:
Dating Coaches
Social Directors
Finding a Date
