What if the kissing is going particularly well? So well, in fact, that you realize you’d like to take things to the next level? Fabulous. Before you get naked, you may want to take a moment to welcome a newcomer to the arena. That’s right, you and your date are no longer alone—your libido has officially joined the party.

Your libido wants to get laid. That’s its job. And it’s a damn hard worker, as we all know. Your libido is also crazy powerful, and about as discerning as a pack of fire ants.

Old-school dating arbiters have long warned single women off casual sex by using unflattering references to rumpled merchandise, milked cows, and shabby free-lunch counters. “Why risk having him call you easy—and think of you that way—when he’s talking to his buddies in the locker room the next day?” The Rules girls ask. Other people warn that cutting to the chase will cut out the chase, spoiling somebody-or-other’s all-important biological imperative.

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The bottom line is this: Some people sleep with their dates right away, others don’t. Also just in, some folks like vodka martinis while others go for gin—it’s all just a matter of style and taste and, most of all, sexual chemistry.

“Why do we all think that sex on a first or even second date is OK?” asks Sonia, a 29-year-old single from Seattle. “No wonder we’re bored. There’s no seduction, no mystique. I’d like to single-handedly bring back the art of seduction. Let’s make love interesting again!”

Yes, there are a million and one rules why we should avoid first-date sex (He’ll never call you again! She’ll only think of you as a sex object! Those thighs!), but there are just as many exceptions. On Sex and the City, Carrie and Big ended up in bed before they’d even gone out to dinner. But they’re hardly the only ones who’ve started things off with a bang.

Fun Fact: In a survey conducted by One2One Living magazine, 63 percent of men and 69 percent of women surveyed had indulged in first-date sex. Furthermore, 79 percent of men and 86 percent of women would consider an LTR with someone they’ve had sex with on a first date.

“I had one first date where I didn’t even leave the house,” says Mark, a 23-year-old single from San Diego. “I went to pick her up—I was taking her to a fancy jazz club—and we were both all dressed up and the attraction was just too much. We had great sex all night. I consider it my best date ever.”

Rather than worry about abiding by someone else’s concept of morality (some people happen to like their merchandise a little rumpled and would much rather spend time in the bush than beating around it), try to focus on the bigger picture. When and/or if you sleep with someone is a choice based on attraction, timing, standards, and, of course, whether you’ve shaved your legs lately. Naturally, the other person’s thoughts and feelings come into play somewhere in there as well. As does the way they smell. So do it, don’t do it, whatever.

If you do

The important thing is that if you do end up sleeping with someone on a first date (and keep in mind, in today’s untraditional dating world, many first dates take place after weeks of “hanging out”), make sure you’re the one making the decision. Not Ann Landers. Not your sneaky libido. Not the smooth talker with his or her tongue in your ear. And that you do it safely (condoms always!) and sanely (don’t sleep with nutballs, and try to avoid becoming one yourself).

One final note: If you do indulge in first-date sex, do be prepared for any and all consequences, everything from a lovestruck admirer to a lummox who refuses to acknowledge your existence come morning.