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| Version | User | Scope of changes |
|---|---|---|
| Sep 26 2006, 4:46 PM EDT (current) | TemlynWriting | 27 words added, 19 words deleted |
| Sep 26 2006, 4:43 PM EDT | TemlynWriting | 481 words added |
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Blind dates are the stuff that make good stories are made of later down the line, whether they work or don't.Tonot.To go on thema blind date shows that you are adventurous, that you believe in honest and lusty connections, that you trust your friends,friends or(or your friends' mothers.mothers). Even your own mother. Dating is a community event. Let people set you up.
But there are rules, a certain etiquette for those going on dates, and even more importantly, to make matches work,work there is a fine form to those making the introductions.
So you fancy yourself a matchmaker?
There is an art to this. It's a matter of matching expectations and not overselling. Because that leads to disappointment and people thinkingthinking, "Why did she ever think that I would be interested in that"that?" sort of feeling. And they won't trust you. Here are some ground rules:
1. Get in and get out. You bring two people together. They meet. Now it is none of your business to manage them after this. It is tempting to keep stirring the pot but it is up to their chemistry to make it happen. Don't ask if they kissed, if he was nice, or who paid the bill. We do not make matches to live vicariously through others.
2. Don't describe her as "fun, creativecreative, and a great friend." He wants to know if she's hot.hot Which(which you can't say without offending her, so you have to hint at it.it).
3. With shy individuals, and that'sthose are people who would get really nervous at the thought of a date, you have to orchestrate a seemingly random introduction. Step One: Host a party and have the two shy people come early because you are nervous that no one will show up at your gig and you need them there. They come as innocent party wingmen. Don't do a couples dinner and see if they wind up together. They'll sniff that out and you'll be left outside the circle of trust. Step Two: They will notice each other. One of them will ask about the other. There you say, Oh,"Oh, her? I didn't know that you liked women who were that funny.funny," Oror some such compliment. Throw out more rope. They have to want it. They are shy. Take your time. This could be months in the making. And keep your mouth shut!
4. Advance work: Talk about the potential couple to each of them in terms of what the other will bring to them. Example: He has so many fun friends and throws great parties. You will like his people.
5. Manage expectations: Be sure to them that if nothing else, they will hit if off as friends. You are supremely confident about this. And they will be less nervous.
6. One shot deal: If at first it doesn't succeed, then it is over. Don't keep trying to get them together.together, Atat least not openly.
But there are rules, a certain etiquette for those going on dates, and even more importantly, to make matches work,work there is a fine form to those making the introductions.
So you fancy yourself a matchmaker?
There is an art to this. It's a matter of matching expectations and not overselling. Because that leads to disappointment and people thinkingthinking, "Why did she ever think that I would be interested in that"that?" sort of feeling. And they won't trust you. Here are some ground rules:
1. Get in and get out. You bring two people together. They meet. Now it is none of your business to manage them after this. It is tempting to keep stirring the pot but it is up to their chemistry to make it happen. Don't ask if they kissed, if he was nice, or who paid the bill. We do not make matches to live vicariously through others.
2. Don't describe her as "fun, creativecreative, and a great friend." He wants to know if she's hot.hot Which(which you can't say without offending her, so you have to hint at it.it).
3. With shy individuals, and that'sthose are people who would get really nervous at the thought of a date, you have to orchestrate a seemingly random introduction. Step One: Host a party and have the two shy people come early because you are nervous that no one will show up at your gig and you need them there. They come as innocent party wingmen. Don't do a couples dinner and see if they wind up together. They'll sniff that out and you'll be left outside the circle of trust. Step Two: They will notice each other. One of them will ask about the other. There you say, Oh,"Oh, her? I didn't know that you liked women who were that funny.funny," Oror some such compliment. Throw out more rope. They have to want it. They are shy. Take your time. This could be months in the making. And keep your mouth shut!
4. Advance work: Talk about the potential couple to each of them in terms of what the other will bring to them. Example: He has so many fun friends and throws great parties. You will like his people.
5. Manage expectations: Be sure to them that if nothing else, they will hit if off as friends. You are supremely confident about this. And they will be less nervous.
6. One shot deal: If at first it doesn't succeed, then it is over. Don't keep trying to get them together.together, Atat least not openly.
